Body Image
Life is a Beauty Pageant
For women, life can often seem like a beauty pageant. Throughout every phase of our lives, from childhood to maturity, our appearance is judged and critiqued. Our looks are compared to those of our peers, our sisters, the women in the media, or imaginary ideals. We’re rated pretty, ugly, plain-or just plain average. No one has ever asked us if we want to compete in this lifelong beauty contest. Being born female automatically makes us contestants, whether we like it or not.1
From the moment we are a pretty little girl in a cute dress, and our brother is a big, strong boy who is smart, we learn what society expects from us.2 We internalize the message that as women, we are defined by our looks, not by our actions, character, or brainpower. These messages surround us in the media, in our communities, and sometimes in our own homes.
Our individual experiences also affect how we feel about our bodies. If we have experienced violence or abuse, we may feel unsafe in our bodies. If we have experienced racism, been ridiculed because we’re in a wheelchair, or been made fun of because we have a "big" nose, we may dislike, mistrust, or even hate our bodies. We may respond to hurtful experiences by wanting a "perfect" body, thinking that if we looked like a supermodel, we would be shielded from discrimination, become successful, and find true love. Or we may respond by abusing our bodies with promiscuous sexual behavior, excessive exercise, alcohol or drugs, binging on junk food, or starving ourselves.
How do we nurture a positive body image while we’re constantly being judged, while women’s bodies are turned into sex objects, and while violence against women pervades our society? What if we are not the current ideal woman, tall and thin with large breasts and a fair complexion? What if we are women of color; what if we are fat, disabled, or super-skinny? While there are many things that divide us as women, the fact that our bodies are never good enough unites us all. We hope this chapter will help you opt out of the beauty contest by understanding how cultural forces have encouraged us to hate our bodies. By examining these external pressures, we can begin to love ourselves and feel comfortable in our own skin. One of the most radical things a woman can do is love her body.6
1. Nancy Etcoff, Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty (New York: Anchor Books, 1999), 68.
2. Past the Pink and Blue Predicament: Freeing the Next Generation from Sex Stereotypes. Girls, Inc.: 1992.
3. One of the most radical things a woman can do is love her body. Conversation with Catherine Steiner-Adair, March 2004.
Excerpted from Our Bodies, Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era, Copyright © 2005, Boston Women's Health Book Collective.
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