Safer Sex

Safer-Sex Guidelines

The safest sexual behavior is having only one partner--someone who is not infected with an STI and who is having sex only with you. But we can’t always be sure of our partner’s sexual practices. If you are having sex with only one person but that person has other partners, you can be exposed to STIs from those other people. Each new partner can expose us to common STIs. No method of prevention is 100 percent effective, but the following strategies can reduce your chances of getting an STI.

Safer-Sex Pearls of Wisdom

1. Barrier methods rule the day (and the night). Use barrier protection for sex, even when you and your partner(s) have no symptoms; you may not realize you have an infection. Latex condoms (rubbers), used during vaginal, oral, and anal intercourse, are the safest and best-known barrier protection. Other barrier methods can be used for mouth-to-vagina or mouth-to-anus contact, or to protect infected areas not covered by a condom. Squares of latex (dams) made especially for sexual activity are available from erotica stores (see "Resources"), and dental dams are found in some drugstores. Remember, condoms and other barriers don’t protect you from getting infected in places they don’t cover.
   
   
2. Use protection even if you don’t need birth control. Women who have had a hysterectomy or a tubal ligation, or who have gone through menopause, can’t get pregnant but still need to use protection to reduce the risk of getting an STI. If you are using an IUD, a diaphragm, or hormonal methods of birth control to prevent pregnancy, you can still get an STI if you don't use a barrier method of protection.
   
   
3. Lather up, then cover up. Washing the genitals, anal area, and hands before and after sex, and between anal and vaginal contact, is good hygiene and may cut down on urinary tract infections, but washing or douching will not prevent STI transmission. Douching may even push infections higher up in our vaginas and affect our other reproductive organs. After you wash, don’t forget to reach for that condom or dental dam.
   
   
4. Watch out for blood. Be careful during sexual activities that may involve blood. Direct contact with blood--including menstrual blood--of an infected person can transmit infections, including HIV or hepatitis.
   
   
5. Know your risk. If you’re having sex that puts you at high risk for getting an STI, make sure you’re well protected. Anal and vaginal intercourse are high-risk sexual activities for STI transmission; kissing and massaging are not. If you know what kinds of sex put you at higher risk, you can protect yourself accordingly.
   
   
6. It’s never too late for safer sex. If you haven’t been safe in the past, that doesn’t mean being safe won’t help you in the future. There’s no better time to start than the present. If you don’t have an STI, practicing safer sex will help ensure that you don’t get one. If you do have an STI, safer sex protects your future partners and prevents you from getting another STI. 

   In my youth, I was extremely experimental and reckless. I discovered I was bisexual, enjoyed having multiple partners at one time, and had a few one-night stands and didn’t use condoms. . . . At the age of 28, I decided that I would have sex only with people who would agree to celibacy for six months and then get pre-sexual testing. I found that I was clean despite the chances I took earlier.

7. Make foreplay the main course instead of just the appetizer. Touching, stroking, and caressing each other can be very erotic and fulfilling. If you don’t have a condom and you want to make love, this kind of contact (sometimes called outercourse) is a good way to get off while being safe. It’s low-risk and feels great. If you do want to have intercourse, good foreplay will help make sure your vagina is lubricated so that a condom is less likely to tear during sex.

Excerpted from Our Bodies, Ourselves: A New Edition for a New Era, Copyright © 2005, Boston Women's Health Book Collective.